I was telling my Internet friend Cumbrian the other day, that you can't send bacon through the post to the UK. It reminded me of the time we 'Emigrated' to Ireland in 2001. Picture the scene dear readers. A car full of people and a stoned border collie spaced out on 'doggie valium' and a Luton van full of our belongings and a driver and two people pull up at Fishguard docks. It's three o'clock in the morning (this is starting to sound like a country and western song). A Welsh customs police officer ('Heddlu) asks us the following:
"Do you have any powdered baby milk or a LAWNMOWER?"
The good and bad people of Britain could sleep easily in their beds. There was no need for her majesty's police force to search for stowaways, illegal immigrants, caches of illegal drugs or explosives. Apparently it was because of the Foot and Mouth outbreak in Britain. The powers that be thought it could be spread to Ireland by drinking powdered baby milk or somebody had been mowing a lawn and a cow may or might have been eating on it.
I of course told the driver:
"We have no lawnmowers officer or powdered baby milk."
"Right off you go and have a pleasant journey. Good night sir."
Going to spend the weekend digging the veg plot. Talking to a robin and moaning about my back. Time to get up or down to the allotment/smallholding me thinks folks?