Did you used to listen to Steve Wright in the Afternoon back in the 1990's? There was one song that he used to play that you used to play in my head for hours. I think I might have even sung it on the way home from the pub late on a Saturday night or was it morning? Yeah you're right. It's the title of this weeks blog post. If you want to be nostalgic just pop over to good old Youtube and type the title - happy listening!
Any road. Have you ever been to a carboot sale? They don't sell em do they? Car boots that is! In my book (have you wrote a book Dave? This is starting to sound like a chat show) My baling string expert and alter-ego makes the above observation that never you can't get a carboot. You can see the old book on Amazon. Just type: Baling String Books.
Perhaps one merry morn I will walk along a line of pasteboard tables in the middle of some farmer's field and my eye will notice a well leafed (dog eared - why they never say rabbit?) copy of Archie's tips...?
Where was I? Yes that's right. I used to get up at six every Sunday morning and head off to some GIANT car-boot sale. Car-boot sales are great places to get yourself a bargain or even something THAT DOESN'T work! Hands up all those people who have handed over twenty pounds of their cheished beer tokens for a vacuum cleaner, to some Spiv with a Errol Flynn moustache, who normally spends his time selling seagulls to tourists off Southend Pier:
"Psst. Want buy a seagull mate? Just a pound thanks. That's yours up in the air."
(The old one's are always the best). You take home your new 'Hoover' and plug it in and you notice you have more sparks than a NASA rocket launcher.
Another no, no tip for car boot shoppers! Never, never (did I say never) take small children with you. Charlatan car-boot sales sellers will have got up at five and strategically placed TOYS on the ground. Just at the right height for little Billy or Jill to grab with a octopus grip.
There you are perusing through a wonderful gardening book and your beloved child suddenly turns into a Fascist dictator and starts screaming:
"I want that!"
You shake your weary head and hear yourself say:
"Don't be silly sweetheart. You don't need ANOTHER Action Man tank!"
Small child is not impressed. It looks at it's RADA card and decides to show everybody it's Thespian skills, the one it normally plays in the supermarket, at the check-outs, where they keep the TOFFEE'S!
The world and his wife seem to be looking at the side-show and you find yourself looking in a car wing mirror ("You're so vain") and you notice that there your hair in the reflection is now completely grey and you have aged twelve months in the last five minutes.
Well dear reader. There is only one thing to do in the situation. Just hand over the rest of your beer tokens and attempt to walk through the biblical multitudes carrying a Barbie doll, Wendy House (why wasn't there a Peter Pan House?) Space Hopper, half a box of Cluedo and a Chopper bike. Forget about those 'great' gardening books you wanted. Somebody bought them when 'small child' went ballistic.
Anybody got any Car-Boot tales?
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