Wednesday 1 January 2020

DIYERS.

Happy New Year To You All.  Here's  another one of my anecdotes for you. 


    DO IT YOUR SELFERS ( BILLY BODGERS).
This is a creature that thinks it can fix anything.  It is often seen in stores like B and Q and Wickes.  Some people want a new set of golf clubs or a “nice” jumper (don’t forget the aftershave and socks) for Christmas.  Not Mr. DIY.  Oh no!  He (the majority are of the meat and two veg variety) wants a new Black and Decker Workmate and a Matsui cordless drill.  Some people read Mills and Boon romances.  Mr. DIY reads the latest Screw Fix catalogue.  

He eats, sleeps and drinks nuts, bolts, rawl plugs and screws.  His life time ambition is to “do up” (wreck) an old barn or slaughter works in the countryside.  God loves a Trier.  But this creature really is really trying sometimes.  He makes Frank Spencer look like a competent, time served tradesman.  

May I digress just for a sentence or two?  I once knew somebody who told me they worked with a man in a furniture removal company called FRANK SPENCER.  It must have been really reassuring for the owner of the house when they read his name on his badge:
 “Be careful with that priceless vase Mr. Spencer”. 
“Let’s not stand on occasion, call me Frank!” 

I once lived on a jam butty estate near a man we nicknamed:“Billy Bodger”.  He lived in a new town house with a front garden the size of a postage stamp.   Billy would open his shed and take out his ancient, cylinder, push lawnmower.  The blades were set to cut the hairs off a snooker ball.   Billy Bodger would sweat and toil SCALPING his poor front lawn for half an hour.  By the time he finished mowing (ploughing) his minute and immaculate (not) Wimbledon tennis lawn.  It would look across between the battlefields of Passchendaele and the Somme.   His garden actually looked better when he went on holiday for a few weeks. 

He was a jack of all trades and a master of none!”  

Sounds like myself.

I think he invented the Manchester screwdriver: the claw hammer.

There are people who serve apprenticeships and go to college to learn about, bricklaying, carpentry, electrical wiring and plumbing. 
Then of course there are you “bodge it and scarper” (cowboys) and Billy Bodgers of this world.  All one needs is some fuse wire, Sellotape and a Manchester screwdriver (claw hammer).  Their motto is:
“If in doubt, give it a clout”. 

He’s been doing it to the television for years.  They had a power cut last week.  They couldn’t watch any television programmes for two whole days. 

He decided he will have no more.  He marched down to the GAS showrooms and ordered a new Calor gas television!  Well they don’t have mains gas where he lives!

23 comments:

  1. I think most of us who take an interest in practical things will happily sit and read a Screwfix Catalogue, and any other trade catalogue in my experience. In the days before Yellow Pages went on line we would sit and read the Yellow Pages even! Now I see less of these than I used to but will mostly read anything put in front of me. I enjoyed the post Dave. Thanks.

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    1. Life has not been so easy for me, i almost gave up on getting cured of HSV2 because i have tried many treatment and still don't work for me, so i was going place to place just for me to search for herbs cure or any solution to my problem and i also have three kids to take care of, that same period my husband die in an accident on it way coming home so life was very tough for me, so when i was going through the herbs site to find a cure for my problem i saw a story about a lady testify about DR.Imoudu, so i said to my self let me give a try to see if my problem can be solved, because i have spend alot of money In the hospital and their was no cure for it, so i contacted DR.Imoudu that afternoon of it and he gave me instruction how i will go about it and he sent me a herbal medicine which I took according to the way he instructed me to do. After taking the medicine for two weeks i saw a changes on my body, then i called the Dr and told him about it and he said i should go for test. i can't believe when my result came out it was negative, i was very happy to share this great testimony to the world there is real cure for #herpes you can also contact DR.Imoudu Email: DR.IMOUDUHEALERTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM also WhatsApp him +2348109609753..
      He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases;
      Diabetes, Lupus, Gout, Hepatitis A,B, Infertility, HIV/AIDS, CANCER, WART,ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILEPSY/HPV CURE/LOOSE WEIGHT AND BODY/EX-BACK/stroke

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  2. Just my people watching observations Rachel. It would be a boring word if we were all the same. It's when an hobby becomes an obsession and takes over you. Glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for kicking off the comments.

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  3. Oh yes. Bodgett and Leggitt the local handyman company. I see their vans around all the time.

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  4. Budget had another business partner Jaycee. He's called Mr Scarper. Thanks!

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  5. My autocorrect is annoying too. You should see some of the stuff it comes up with!

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  6. Autocorrect is really annoying Jaycee. I am always having to correct comments or posts after they have been published.

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  7. My favourite shop, Screwfix. Was there yesterday for a new smoke alarm. Fixed it up straight away. Then topped up the car windscreen washers. And took bottles and garden rubbish to the tip. Lovely afternoon.

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  8. You sound like number one son Tasker. He's tools and nuts and bolts and screwfix mad. Can't pass on my gardening gene though. I copost my garden waste or burn branches in the kitchen range. Thanks for commenting. Will pop back to read your blog and leave comments. Thanks.

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  9. FINALLY FREE FROM HERPES VIRUSI thought my life had nothing to offer anymore because life became meaningless to me because I had herpes virus, the symptoms became very severe and bold and made my family run from and abandoned me so they won't get infected. I gave up everything, my hope, dreams,vision and job because the doctor told me there's no cure. I consumed so many drugs but they never cured me but hid the symptoms inside me making it worse. I was doing some research online someday when I came across testimonies of some people of how DR ADIGBA cured them from herpes, I never believed at first and thought it was a joke but later decided to contact him on the details provided and when I messaged him we talked and he sent me his herbal medicine and told me to go for a test after two weeks. Within 7 days of medication the symptoms disappeared and when I went for a test Lo and behold I was NEGATIVE by the Doctor Who tested me earlier. Thank you DR ADIGBA because I forever owe you my life and I'll keep on telling the world about you. If you are going through same situation worry no more and contact DR ADIGBA via dradigba@gmail. com or WhatsApp him via +2348077875210. he is good too to cure all type of disease and virus. 1 HIV cure 2 cancer 3 diabetes 4 hepatitis 5 herpes. You can contact if you are having any problem... 

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  10. Greetings to you all, am so much appreciating God almighty for using Dr Ajayi the herbal  Doctor to cure my herpes, while this may sound discouraging and people may not believe that herpes have a cure, i have been to so many places for help including hospitals wasted money and times hoping that i was going to get cured but nor was able, until God use someone to cure me from this virus, true the help of a man called Dr Ajayi, with his herbal medicine which he prepared and send to me that i took for 21 days. Well I don’t have much to say, am so much happy for his good work in my life because i never thought i will have a good health again, thank you so much Dr Ajayi. you can also contact Dr Ajayi for help via email ajayiherbalhome@gmail.com you can also call or add him on whatsapp through his mobile number +2348154724883. he also have the cure to other disease and many more...
    Hiv  cure,
    Hepatitis B cure,
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    Cancer cure,
    Lupus cure,
    Diabetes cure,
    Skin infection cure,
    Hsv 1/2 cure,
    penis enlargement,
    he also have powers to bring your Ex back with a spell carter,

    ReplyDelete
  11. Life has not been so easy for me, i almost gave up on getting cured of HSV2 because i have tried many treatment and still don't work for me, so i was going place to place just for me to search for herbs cure or any solution to my problem and i also have three kids to take care of, that same period my husband die in an accident on it way coming home so life was very tough for me, so when i was going through the herbs site to find a cure for my problem i saw a story about a lady testify about DR.Imoudu, so i said to my self let me give a try to see if my problem can be solved, because i have spend alot of money In the hospital and their was no cure for it, so i contacted DR.Imoudu that afternoon of it and he gave me instruction how i will go about it and he sent me a herbal medicine which I took according to the way he instructed me to do. After taking the medicine for two weeks i saw a changes on my body, then i called the Dr and told him about it and he said i should go for test. i can't believe when my result came out it was negative, i was very happy to share this great testimony to the world there is real cure for #herpes you can also contact DR.Imoudu Email: DR.IMOUDUHEALERTEMPLE@GMAIL. COM also WhatsApp him +2348109609753..
    He also have herbs medicine to cured the following diseases;
    Diabetes, Lupus, Gout, Hepatitis A,B, Infertility, HIV/AIDS, CANCER, WART,ALS CURE/DIABETES CURE/EPILEPSY/HPV CURE/LOOSE WEIGHT AND BODY/EX-BACK/stroke

    ReplyDelete
  12. NATURAL HERPES CURE.Herpes simplex virus is said to have no cure, just as i was told by my family doctor that herpes can not be cured but can be controlled, Although i was a very stubborn person i never believed in what my doctor told me about herpes having no cure. Am a very honest person who believe in nature and i also believed that there could be cure somewhere in the world, I kept my faith so strong and kept on doing my research till i saw an article shared by a testifier on How a herbal Doctor Razor from west Africa, i Decided to use his herbal medicine, so i Reached out to him and explained my situation to him, he promised to guide me, after 4 days of reaching out to him i received my medication sent to me by Doctor Razor and he instructed me to use it for 18 days, After Completion of his herbal medicine dosage, i went for a medical checkup as i was told by Doctor Razor. I am so happy and extremely excited that i got cured of this Virus. Massive gratitude to doctor Razor. Reach out to him via his clinic email : drrazorherbalhome@gmail.com  On whatsapp/call his cell phone +2349065420442. Together we stand a chance to fight herpes. Lets continue to share this till The whole world Gets to know that there is a herbal cure for herpes.God bless you all.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I have been battling this Herpes disease for almost 1year now....I tried all possible means to get cure from my Herpes Disease but all to me in vain until i saw a post in a health forum about a herbal doctor  Dr Alika who prepare herbal medicine to cure all kind of diseases including Herpes Disease, at first i doubted if it was real but decided to give it a try...then i contact Dr Alika and he replied me and explain how the process work so after ordering for the medicine I got it within 3/4 working days through UPS Delivery Service and I took it according to the way Dr Alika instructed, I was so happy after 14days I took the medicine there was a very big changes in my health when I was done with the process I go for test, I found out I am negative...Herpes patients should also get in touch with this herbalist Dr Alika to get rid of these Herpes Virus forever contact him via email on dralikaherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp/call him on  +2348116570358.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so happy, i never believe i will be this happy again in life, I was working as an air-hoster ( cabby crew ) for 3years but early this year, i loose my job because of this deadly disease called Herpes virus (HSV), I never felt sick or have any symptom, till all workers were ask to bring their doctors report, that was how i got tested and i found out that am HSV positive that make me loose my job, because it was consider as an STD and is incurable disease, i was so depress was thinking of committing suicide, till i explain to a friend of mine, who always said to me a problem share is a problem solved, that was how she directed me to Dr Isibor, that was how i contacted him and get the medication from this doctor and i got cured for real, I just went back to my work and they also carry out the test to be real sure and i was negative. Please contact this doctor if you are herpes positive  diseases his email is: drisiborspellhome@gmail.com 
    or his WhatApp contact +2348110493039

    ReplyDelete
  15. God bless Dr. USELU for his marvelous work in my life, I was diagnosed of HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS since 2018 and I was taking my medications, I wasn’t satisfied i needed to get the HERPES out of my system, I searched about some possible cure faor HERPES i saw a comment about Dr. USELU , how he cured HERPES with his herbal medicine, I contacted him and he guided me. I asked for solutions, he started the remedy for my health, he sent me the medicine within 3 days. I took the medicine as prescribed by him and 2weeks later i was cured from HERPES contact him via email (dr.uselucaregiver@gmail.com) once again thanks to you Dr. USELU cure the flowing virus, contact his email or add him on whatsapp (+2347052898482) cancer cure
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    Hepatitis  

    ReplyDelete
  16. PERFECT NATURAL HERBS AND VEGANS CURE FOR Herpes 1&2 THAT WORK FAST WITHIN A COUPLE OF WEEKS WITH DR ELINFOH HERBAL MEDICINE, I saw so many testimonies about Dr ELINFOH a great HERBAL DOCTOR that will help you CURE and give you the rightful health to live a joyful life, i didn't believe it at first, but as the pain got worsen and my life was at risk after using lots of ARV drugs from the hospital and no changes so i decided to give a try to Dr Elinfoh I contacted him also and told him i want a cure for Herpes , he gave me advice on what i must do and he deliver it to me in my home address i gave him and i got the medicine which i use according to his instruction, and today i must say I am so grateful to this man Dr Elinfoh for curing me from Herpes and for restoring me back to my normal health and a sound life and i am making this known to every one out there who have been trying all day to be cured from Herpes or any sickness should not waste more time just contact him with his details below, believe me this is the only way to get cured from Hepres , this is the real solution we all have been searching for. Do not waste more time contacting him today for you can also leave a sound and happy life. contact info below. Email: (drelinfohherbalhome@gmail.com) or Whats"App or Call him on: +2348110492072. and you can as well contact him on other issues you are having like*HEPATITIS B*DIABETICS*CANCER*ALS*HERPES*BODY REDUCTION*BREAST ENLARGEMENT*FIBROD*CANCER*PREGNANCY MISCARRIAGE*Relationship issues etc.. ** Neoplasms*Cardiovascular Disease (CVD)*Chronic Respiratory Diseases* Mental and Behavioral Disorders*Alzheimer’s Disease Email: drelinfohherbalhome@gmail.com Via whatsapp +2348110492072  

    ReplyDelete
  17. I Want To Appreciate Dr.OYAGU for his great deeds, I Was Diagnosed With type 2 Herpes Virus Last year,And i Was Looking For Solution To Be Cured Luckily I Saw Testimonies On How Dr.OYAGU Cure Herpes Virus I Decided To Contact Dr.OYAGU I Contacted Him He Prepared A Herbal Medicine Portion And Sent It To Me,I Started The Herbal Medicine For My Health.He Gave Me Step By Step Instructions On How To Apply It, When I Applied It As Instructed, I Was Cured Of This Deadly Herpes Within 2 weeks, I Am Now Herpes Negative.My Brother And Sister I No That There Are So Many People That Have The Same Herpes Virus Please contact Dr OYAGU To Help You Too,And Help Me To Thank Dr.OYAGU For Cure Me, I’m Cured By Dr. OYAGU Herbal Medicine,His Contact Email:oyaguherbalhome@gmail.com Or Cell Whatsapp Number +2348101755322 thank you

    ReplyDelete
  18. I Want To Appreciate Dr.OYAGU for his great deeds, I Was Diagnosed With type 2 Herpes Virus Last year,And i Was Looking For Solution To Be Cured Luckily I Saw Testimonies On How Dr.OYAGU Cure Herpes Virus I Decided To Contact Dr.OYAGU I Contacted Him He Prepared A Herbal Medicine Portion And Sent It To Me,I Started The Herbal Medicine For My Health.He Gave Me Step By Step Instructions On How To Apply It, When I Applied It As Instructed, I Was Cured Of This Deadly Herpes Within 2 weeks, I Am Now Herpes Negative.My Brother And Sister I No That There Are So Many People That Have The Same Herpes Virus Please contact Dr OYAGU To Help You Too,And Help Me To Thank Dr.OYAGU For Cure Me, I’m Cured By Dr. OYAGU Herbal Medicine,His Contact Email:oyaguherbalhome@gmail.com
    Or Cell Whatsapp Number +2348101755322 thank you

    ReplyDelete
  19. Honestly When I found out I had herpes, I was completely lost because I didn't know what to do and I worried about how the incident would affect my relationship. I couldn't go about it but positive thinking and a healthy approach keeps me going. I tried finding help in all possible area but my efforts were to no avail. But with the help of Dr Lucky , I discussed the issue with him and I was treated so after some times I went back for another test which came out NEGATIVE and I was totally healed. And you can reach out to Dr Lucky on this mail; drluckyherbalcure@gmail.com Or Whats App; +2348154637647 and you will be the next to testify of his great work.

    ReplyDelete
  20. i have been suffering from a deadly disease (Hsv) for the past 3 years now, I had spent a lIot of money going from one places to another, from churches to churches, hospitals have been my home every day residence. Constant checks up have been my hobby not until this faithful day, I was searching through the internet, I saw a testimony on how Dr Onokun helped someone in curing his (Hsv) herpes disease, quickly I copied his email which is Dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com just to give him a test I spoke to him, he asked me to do some certain things which I did, he told me that he is going to provide the herbal cure to me, which he did, then he asked me to go for medical checkup after some days after using the herbal cure, behold I was free from the deadly disease, he only asked me to post the testimony through the whole world, faithfully am doing it now, please brothers and sisters, he is great, I owe him in return. if you are having a similar problem just email him on : Dronokunherbalcure@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Herpes can be treated and cured permanently but only few believe it. I was diagnosed of HSV few years ago, my doctor told me there is no permanent cure for the disease, i was given antiviral medication to reduce the outbreak of the virus, at the initial stage it was not so bad till it progressed to the end middle stage were i had difficulties going about my daily functions I was totally devastated till I saw a comment about Dr. festus , who have used herbal medicines to cure virus like HERPES, HPV, ALS, when I contacted Dr. festus via email, after a few discussion, he prepared the medicine and ship it to me, when I received the herbal medicine, I took it according to his instructions, few weeks later I went to the hospital to have a blood test and the test came back negative, i was cured and free from this Virus... That is why I am sharing my testimony so that people can also contact him for help, via his email: drfestusherbalsolutioncentre@gmail.com or
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348073742265

    ReplyDelete
  22. I was diagnosed of herpes virus, I have tried all possible means to get cure but all my effort proved abortive, until a friend of mine introduced me to a herbal doctor called Dr Agaba, who prepare herbal medicine to cure all kind of diseases including herpes virus (Herpes), when i contacted this herbal doctor via email, he sent me herpes virus herbal medicine via courier service, when i received the herbal medicine he gave me step by step instructions on how to apply it, when i applied it as instructed i was totally cured from the virus within 3 weeks of usage. Contact this great herbal doctor today to get your cure. 
    Via Email: Dragabasolutionhome@gmail.com or WhatApp: +2349074536486  

    ReplyDelete

Onion Set Planting.

I still managed to plant up two of the new planters/raised beds with onion sets in the rain yesterday. Notice the white root sock in the com...