Wednesday, 21 February 2018

It Wasn't Me Mate. Honest".

The weather here is pretty tickity boo at the moment.  I can't go walking though.  I have a badly bruised heel from walking with shoes that have very worn heels.  The wife bought me some new ones from Lidl last week and said I am a tight wad and should throw my old ones away.  Hmm..  They only cost her 22 Euros from Lidl.  The last pair I bought cost me 44 Euros from a 'proper' walking shoe shop! 

I haven't been able to think what to blog about.  Then I looked at my daffodils (see photo) today and thought about visiting Irish gardens that are open to the public. 





This reminded me of once when we went to visit a garden open to the public here in Ireland.  Any road.  It was around Easter and this garden had just opened for the summer.  I don't think they had remembered to do every important thing, like turn the water on and put toilet paper in the lavatory facilities.  Eh?  Don't worry dear reader, all will be revealed.

We duly paid our money in the 'honesty' box at the posh gardens.  Then we did saunter around the gardens and marvelled at the Rhododendrons and Azaleas..  They love the Irish acid soil.

Then we sat eating our sandwiches in the picnic area and we observed a few other people arrive in cars.  There was a family of Germans (Deutschland reg) who parked their car and sat near us eating their already prepared homemade ("Ere is von I prepared earlier") sandwiches. 

Mr German gets up and goes to the toilets, I presume.  My missus decides she wants to go for a wee.  So I wait at the picnic bench until she gets back.  She comes back and asks me if I would like to go for a number one or number 2?  

Off I goes to the toilet.  I place my hand on the toilet door handle and Mr German from the picnic area opens it from his side.  I nod and he sheepishly smiles.  Then I notice the toilet bowl is full of number two's.  There is no toilet paper.  I attempt to flush the toilet.  It does not work.  I go to the sink and the there is no water.  There is no water to wash my HANDS!!  

I turn round and open the door and a man nods and I smile sheepishly.  He goes into the toilet with no water and full lavatory bowl.  Then I hurry down the garden path.  I think to myself:

"It wasn't me mate.  Honest!"



17 comments:

  1. Now that is a story that is funny later but not at the time. I love the expression tickity boo, I assume that means very good. I think I will introduce tickity boo to California.

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  2. It was very funny and embarrassing at the same time Terra. I have put the video on the blog for you. It's Danny Kaye in the film: Merry Andrew. Thanks!

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  3. Don't hear much about Danny Kaye these days. Toilets that don't flush can be such a source of stress all round. When we were growing up our toilet was very difficult to flush but of course our family learnt through experience the technique to get it to work. A mixture of pressure, speed and timing. It was a problem for visitors though.

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  4. Thanks Philip. I am old enough to remember when we had an outdoor toilet. I use to whistle when I used it. Septic tanks are another wonderful invention for the rural dweller. Thanks!

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  5. Lovely photos of your daffodils with the sunshine against the wall, looks quite Mediterranean

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  6. Cheers Rachel. They call here the Irish Riviera. Wordsworth once came to Glengariff on his holidays. Honest.

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  7. To use an old saying Dave: 'I believe you, thousands wouldn't'.

    I think I'd have gone in a bush with a dock leaf.

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  8. True story Gwil. I only wanted a wee and to wash my hands. It was like being in a Mr Bean sketch. Thanks!

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  9. I could NOT use a toilet like that - Were there no bushes around? Have your daffodils opened early or are mine late? I need to know these things....lol.

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  10. Hi Valerie. I didn't know what the toilet was like until I got inside and shut the door. It was a large to garden open to the public. So yes there where lots of trees.

    Spring does often come early here. We are on the Gulf Stream. I see little birds flying around with twigs and grass in their beaks. There is snow forecast for early next week. Must get a couple of sacks of solid fuel today. The log pile is diminishing too. Thanks!

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  11. have you seen the film along came polly? I couldnt have used it, I would have been sick

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    1. I have just looked at the trailer for along came Polly, Sol. I know what you mean. I felt like Tom Chance in that brilliant comedy series: Chance In A Million. Thanks!

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  12. Been in that position before. Typical Greek loo, blocked and no loo paper. Actually they're much cleaner now. What can you do. Give a shrug and get outside there!!!!

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    1. What can you do but give a shrug and get outside there. You're right LA.

      I remember when I was on the nine hour train journey from Warsaw to Vienna. There was no toilet paper in the toilets until we got over the Czech Republic border. Very odd. Thanks!

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  13. Thank you for your comment on my Billy Graham post, so did you answer the call?

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  14. I walked on the the tarpaulin covered Anfield pitch Chris. I think Billy Graham was one of the greatest speakers I have ever seen live. Thanks!

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  15. Very nice post really ! I apperciate your blog Thanks for sharing,keep sharing more blogs.

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