What about the dear old bus entertainers folks? I am not talking about the cheerful Shearing’s coach driver who takes you on your holidays and points out all the boring places at the side of the M5:
“That’s the place where Concorde took its maiden flight.....”
There is a late night Friday chat show host on the BBC who owns an house just a few miles from me. He's from Bandon originally. Yet another 'Blow In' like yours truly? That's suppose to be a joke West Corkers! I rarely if ever get comments from Ireland apart from Heron.
Instead of interviewing Hollywood film stars he could interview drunks on buses in northern England and further a field?
One entertaining time on a bus was one night coming home from town. A rather inebriated man (completely rat legged) sat down and started up a conversation with an acquaintance of mine. Being northerners we were quite friendly, and often engaged with strangers about the weather, the state of the nation and of course football and cricket, Wonder Woman and Charlie’s Angels? Yes it was a long, long time ago!
Tonight though we had a different topic of discussion on the top deck of the bus. My acquaintance decided to ask the drunk about him and his wife’s sex life. (Like one does). The drunk was eager to inform us of his romantic encounters with his wife. He even carried a Polaroid'instant' photo of “her indoors” topless.
The photograph was duly passed around and everybody voiced their approval. A few minutes later. One of my friends asked the drunk if he could see his wife’s photograph again?
“Course you can lad?”
How would one go about asking the wife if she would let you to take a photograph of her topless? So they could show it to the lads (complete strangers) on a bus on a Friday night?
You don’t get free entertainment when you’re travelling in your car. Perhaps that is where the vaudeville artistes are plying their trades these days? I am certain I once saw Shirley Bassey on a bus, on the Hebden Bridge to Haworth road. Perhaps it wasn’t Shirley Bassey? It might have been Shirley Williams? I don’t remember I was probably drunk on a bus at the time!
We often lament the decline of the musical hall, Opportunity Knocks and New Faces. But at least you can still get a good vaudeville concert on public transport! “I mean that most sincerely folks!”