Tuesday, 5 February 2019

Late Night Bus Entertainers!


What about the dear old bus entertainers folks? I am not talking about the cheerful Shearing’s coach driver who takes you on your holidays and points out all the boring places at the side of the M5:
 “That’s the place where Concorde took its maiden flight.....” 
There is a late night Friday chat show host on the BBC who owns an house just a few miles from me.  He's from Bandon originally.  Yet another 'Blow In' like yours truly?  That's suppose to be a joke West Corkers!  I rarely if ever get comments from Ireland apart from Heron.  
Instead of interviewing Hollywood film stars he could interview drunks on buses in northern England and further a field?
One entertaining time on a bus was one night coming home from town.  A rather inebriated man (completely rat legged) sat down and started up a conversation with an acquaintance of mine.  Being northerners we were quite friendly, and often engaged with strangers about the weather, the state of the nation and of course football and cricket, Wonder Woman and Charlie’s Angels?  Yes it was a long, long time ago!
Tonight though we had a different topic of discussion on the top deck of the bus.  My acquaintance decided to ask the drunk about him and his wife’s sex life.  (Like one does).  The drunk was eager to inform us of his romantic encounters with his wife.  He even carried a Polaroid'instant' photo of “her indoors” topless. 
The photograph was duly passed around and everybody voiced their approval.  A few minutes later.  One of my friends asked the drunk  if he could see his wife’s photograph again?  
“Course you can lad?” 
How would one go about asking the wife if she would let you to take a photograph  of her topless?  So they could show it to the lads (complete strangers) on a bus on a Friday night?
You don’t get free entertainment when you’re travelling in your car.  Perhaps that is where the vaudeville artistes are plying their trades these days?  I am certain I once saw Shirley Bassey on a bus, on the Hebden Bridge to Haworth road.  Perhaps it wasn’t Shirley Bassey?  It might have been Shirley Williams?  I don’t remember I was probably drunk on a bus at the time!
We often lament the decline of the musical hall, Opportunity Knocks and New Faces.  But at least you can still get a good vaudeville concert on public transport!  “I mean that most sincerely folks!”

12 comments:

  1. Well, now Dave. You don't get many Irish people commenting on your blog and even I get very few... it is probably because they are either busy writing books or that they would rather use a mobile. For most are better at talking than writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Heron. I am always appreciative of comments. It would be nice to get Irish comments too. I do get lots of views. I suppose its like reading a newspaper? You read it and don't write to the editor or correspondent. Thanks!

      Delete
  2. If I pack a bag and nip over to your place will I get lucky and witness some sort of entertainment, which is sadly lacking where I live. Even TV lacks entertainment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Its hardly thrilling living in the countryside Valerie at the moment. I often talk more to people via the blog than I do where I live. Thinks that's whats so good about reading and writing blogs. Its a connection to the outside world. I often watch comedians and music and old gardening programmes on You Tube. It's Geoffrey Smiths Vegetable Garden at the moment. What a man he was! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the bus story today Dave, and the inclusion of the Shearings coach driver bit too. I know they have a gift of the gab: I had a client who came back after a Shearings trip and married the driver! I also remember the last bus home when I was a teenager and the banter on the upper deck on a Saturday night was better than the night out I was coming home from!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Rachel. I have only ever been on one coach trip to Cornwall and that's where I got the Concorde tale from. We would go out for day excursions and it was always the same couple who turned up ten minutes every day. I think writers like Alan Bennett get their ideas and characters from public transport and cafes ..? Thanks Rachel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Writers are people who listen and observe and are switched on to those around them and what is going on and are interested. Places like cafés and public transport are good for this, yes, I agree.

      Delete
  6. I agree with you Rachel. Charles Dickens walked everywhere and no doubt met characters like Fagin in places on and off the beaten track. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dave, I'm delighted to inform you that you are the winner of the zen-my-ass caption contest! Please email gwil.williams2@gmail.com with the address you want your prize sending to. Well done! I'm sure you won't be disappointed with your computer generated artwork signed by the artists himself i.e. moi (unfortunately I'm not Banksy so it won't be worth much so you can safely hang it on the shed door and throw darts at it). Cheers, Gwil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks very much Gwil. I will drop you a line tomorrow. I will do you a swap for my book if you want? Cheers, Dave.

      Delete
    2. One of my favourite tv series was On the Buses with Reg Varney I think he was called and of course the jobsworth bus inspector whose name escapes me at the moment. I'd better send you the picture first. It might not be worth a whole book. ;-)

      Delete
  8. Hi Gwil. I wish I could go on a degree course called: British sitcoms. If such a thing existed? I love them all. Yes I remember Blakey: " I'll get you Butler".

    I'll send you a message. I'm just splitting some logs for the one who must be obeyed.

    ReplyDelete

Rescuing A Young Snail Crawling Along The Top Of The Kitchen Sink.

 Call me soft but..?  I picked a beetroot from one of my raised bed old baths yesterday afternoon.    I brought it into the kitchen and plac...