These are the people who like a “good funeral.” Some people get out a marker pen and highlight their television programmes for the week. Funeral goer looks in their local rag/ newspaper and scour the Obituary columns for their latest funerals for the forthcoming week. He says something like the following:
"Isn't it strange how people die in alphabetical order?"
“Lets see. Tommy Teapot. I’m sure I once new him? I think my mothers uncle once bought a cat from his second cousin. I think it got killed on the railway line. Or was that my cousin Ernie? I must go to the funeral. He was a lovely man, always smiling and would always give you seccies or two’s up on his woodbine. I see their having the do (Wake) in the White Lion. I don’t think that I will bother. They can’t make tongue sandwiches for toffee.”
I once heard a true story of a man who waited for a widow to return from burying her husband. He offered his sympathy and said:;
“I wonder if you would sell Arthur’s tool shed? He won’t be needing it any more!”
Funerals are great places for funeral fans. They can also get a warm a bite to eat and a nice cup of tea afterwards.
You even get priest or vicars that make you laugh: I once went to my aunt Nellie’s funeral. The vicar, who had never met her. Remarked on what a wonderful woman ELSIE was. He couldn’t even remember her name. It’s the only funeral I have ever been to when the congregation laughed!