Wednesday, 4 November 2020

Mr "Talk" A Good Allotment.

Yet Another One Of My Allotment Characters: "Mr Talk" A Good Plot!

This kind fellow with his fountain of advice is usually an active member of most allotment societies.  His main purpose/vocation in life is to "TALK" a good veg allotment plot. 

He does not give a dot who you are and will think nothing of leaning on your allotment hedge/ fence (what ever you have) and smile and inform you that you're not growing vegetables and fruit correctly.  He is very much like that Harry Enfield character: "You Don't  Want  To Do It Like That."  The man who is always saying: 

"You don't want to do it like that!"

"East to West is always best".

Mr "Talk a good plot" willl tell you how to sow, dig, rotovate, water, how to 'cook' your Pot Noodle, how to tidy your shed, even how to choose the right sized bricks and pieces of stone and concrete to hold the corrugated sheets down on you allotment shed!

One day the penny drops in your head and you decide to go have a look at Mr "Talk a good plots" potager/allotment.  You peer over the bramble covered rickity falling down pallet fence and see an overgrown vegetable plot with a few slug laced cabbages, his own private rubbish tip and " escape from the wife and washing machine" shed!  

Mr "Talk a good plot" if asked, would say he's created a natural habitat and allotment paradise for mankind and for all things bright and beautiful!  


Have you met this creature?

15 comments:

  1. Oh dear. I think I am married to him!

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  2. Oh dear. He's got some very familiar traits I recognize in myself. 😃

    ReplyDelete
  3. Women get talked to like this all the time!!!

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  4. Touch's. Women hold their own in the house. That's why men have allotment sheds and polytunnel. Especially now the pubs are closed. Perhaps I should make a polytunnel shebeen?

    ReplyDelete
  5. That should say Touch'e. Silly autocorrect.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have met an army of blokes like that whose listening skills are on a par with those of concrete breeze blocks. By the way, would you please cease snoring! I can hear it over here in Yorkshire - carried on the Atlantic wind.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yes. They are often seen carrying clipboards and pencils. Sorry about the snoring. One sleeps very well in the countryside next to the sea. The sea air makes one sleep and sometimes snore.

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