The "Novice" Allotment Holder.
This is true dear readers:
Another creature I met on my allotment saunters is the"novice" allotment holder. Lets call him Mick the new lad. He informed me that he was sick and tired of playing darts and he wanted:
"Summat to do."
"At the weekends."
The poor man was bored and was in need of an hobby or leisure pursuit. Especially when it wasn't the football season.
Oh to watch a live football match, eat a potato pie and drink a cup of Bovril. Maybe even a pint of bitter? Something else to miss from Blighty. Rock concerts too. It's enough to make you put your name down for an allotment. I have my own but it's not the same without the characters is it?
I informed him that I was an allotment grower. I suggested that he got himself an allotment to show his family what an hunter, gatherer, he was or wasn't? He was quite enthusiastic to the idea and I managed to secure him the tenancy of an half plot.
He was duly delighted with his new plot. Until he realised that the four foot high plot of grass and Rose-bay willow herb was his new Potager. He was quite taken back and expected his'new' plot to be dug over, ready for him!
"Pull the other one. There are bells on it!"
He soon got over his disappointment and duly rushed down to Wilkinsons in the High Street and purchased a new spade (toy) and an array of vegetable and flower seeds which he purchased in OCTOBER!
A month or two later. I went to see how he had been getting on with his new vegetable endeavours. In fact he had managed to clear SIX feet square of soil. It was just after Christmas. I asked him how he was enjoying his new hobby?
"I don't know Dave."
"I can't understand why none of my vegetable seeds have come up"/germinated.
The silly billy had only sowed and planted his Summer vegetables in WINTER !