Monday, 2 November 2020

One Of My Allotment Characters. "Harry Napalm".

 People who have been reading this scribble for the last ten years might know some of my allotment characters that I have met and even created with my literary vivid imagination and stupidity?  

Harry "Napalm" lived or resided in an allotment a few veg plots up from me.  I also christened him " Harry Weedkiller".  He would arrive at his allotment in the merry month of April? Months after I had toiled and slaved and "bastard" trenched and "double dug" my French potager in Northwest England.  

Harry would get out his knapsack sprayer fill it with water and mix packets of weedkiller and spray the contents on any thing flora and green that resided in his allotment jungle.

Harry was well into his sixties and he would spend the next week or so sitting on his deckchair in the midst of his wilting jungle and supping cans of cheap lager.    

When everything was completely dead looking .  Harry would crack up his leviathan of a Howard rotovator and turn his Brown frazzled vegetables and weeds into brownish looking soil/wilderness.

He would then apply agricultural rates of chemical fertilizers like a spinning Dervish and proceed to sow vegetables and plant his spudatoes.   

The rest of his summer would be spent supping cans of "el crappo" lager and sitting on his deckchair,  Whilst I sweated and toiled and weeded and swore like a trooper.  I think it's called vegetables cultivation?

Result: Harry "Napalm's" vegetables were massive, "dead big" and enormous and probably tasted crap!








45 comments:

  1. I do love your charater descriptions and the names you come up with. You describe them so well I can feel your frustration. Damn Harry and his monsters.
    I wonder if he's still in the land of the living though after all that chemical warfare

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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  2. Hi Linda. I never understood why people would go to the trouble of renting an allotment, spraying it with weedkiller and covering the vegetables in chemical fertilizers? It's over twenty years since I last saw Harry. He's probably in the great allotment in the sky. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow! As I replied in your last post, I don't use chemicals at all if I can help it, and the thought of what he was eating from his plot makes me feel quite weak. He could be well-preserved (as in pickled) though!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi the veg artist. You are like ourselves. I buy organic poultry pellets, make garden teas and put fym and seaweed on the veg plot. I don't believe in weedkiller where food is being grown. Harry preferred a easier and chemical approach.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How do troopers swear? "Watch out Cap'n theres a ****ing bomb on its way!" and "General Johnson is a prize ****!" and "Have you got any ******* spare ****ing bullets Private Northsider?"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Something like that YP. The great and much missed author Pete McCarthy said the Irish taught the world to swear.😀

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think he meant sweat not swear! Ireland is a God-fearing land ruled by nuns, priests and the ghost of Terry Wogan.

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    2. Terry Wogan made The Floral Dance is own. With help from a very famous brass band of course.

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  7. Yum. Glyphosate flavour potatoes with Roundup rhubarb. A killer combination.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yep. You would be surprised how many vegetable growers sing from that hymn sheet JayCee.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't have a great deal of experience with allotments but the one we have here don't permit chemical spraying. That sounds horrible!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Debby. It's good to read that they don't permit chemical spraying over there. Thanks,

    ReplyDelete
  11. Not in allotments. What you do on you own property is up to you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Replies
    1. Oh they spray with chemical sprays on big farms. THey have huge tractor attachments to do so.

      Delete
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  28. This is very simple method about penis Enlargement Herbal medicine is 100% guaranteed for Penis Enlargement and Good Erection, The main reason why lots of men are finding it difficult to Enlarge penis and last long during xxx is because they so believe in medical report and drugs made of chemicals which cause damages to the body system. so I'm recommending Y'all fellow men facing this mess to contact Dr Aziba WhatsApp via +2348100368288 or Email : priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com for Natural Herbal Penis Enlargement Product






    This is very simple method about penis Enlargement Herbal medicine is 100% guaranteed for Penis Enlargement and Good Erection, The main reason why lots of men are finding it difficult to Enlarge penis and last long during xxx is because they so believe in medical report and drugs made of chemicals which cause damages to the body system. so I'm recommending Y'all fellow men facing this mess to contact Dr Aziba WhatsApp via +2348100368288 or Email : priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com for Natural Herbal Penis Enlargement Product







    This is very simple method about penis Enlargement Herbal medicine is 100% guaranteed for Penis Enlargement and Good Erection, The main reason why lots of men are finding it difficult to Enlarge penis and last long during xxx is because they so believe in medical report and drugs made of chemicals which cause damages to the body system. so I'm recommending Y'all fellow men facing this mess to contact Dr Aziba WhatsApp via +2348100368288 or Email : priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com for Natural Herbal Penis Enlargement Product






    This is very simple method about penis Enlargement Herbal medicine is 100% guaranteed for Penis Enlargement and Good Erection, The main reason why lots of men are finding it difficult to Enlarge penis and last long during xxx is because they so believe in medical report and drugs made of chemicals which cause damages to the body system. so I'm recommending Y'all fellow men facing this mess to contact Dr Aziba WhatsApp via +2348100368288 or Email : priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com for Natural Herbal Penis Enlargement Product

    ReplyDelete
  29. Greatest thanks to Dr Oyagu for his herbal drugs that he prepared for me and when I start using it in just 2weeks I was completely cured and that ended my HERPES SIMPLEX 1&2 DISEASE i am so happy and grateful to Dr Oyagu . after reading about him on a testimony of Jason Cash on a blogger. I knew suddenly Dr Oyagu was the right Doctor to cure my HERPES SIMPLEX 1&2 DISEASE. I discuss with Dr Oyagu and he prepared a herbal medicine for me and when it got sent to me in south Korean . I used the herbal medicine and 2weeks and i went to check up again. after 15years of suffering from HERPES SIMPLEX 1&2 at last i am smiling once again. Dr Oyagu also has remedy to others disease like COLD SORES,HIV/AIDS,DIABETES.CANCER,HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND MANY MORE. I oblige everyone to contact this powerful herbalist Dr Oyagu and be free from your suffering. contact his WhatsApp line: +2348101755322 or visit his Website https://oyaguspellcaster.wixsite.com/oyaguherbalhome Email:Oyaguherbalhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  30. I’ve been Feeling weak and always feeling sleepy for some time which I went for a test and I was told i am diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis Disease (ALS DISEASE) ever since then I've followed a wide variety of medical treatments, I have even combined with different pills and antibiotics without clear results. My health was deteriorating more and more. But thanks to a Herbal Doctor's herbs method that I found on the internet which has saved so many lives and also helped me to achieve the results i wanted, i knew from the beginning that this could help me after much learning and the cure Dr sent to me and which I began to follow the method from the Herbal Doctor called (Dr Aziba) and the results were wonderful: I recommend you to get in contact with him via Email: priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com and on WhatsApp: +2348100368288 for ALS, HPV, HSV, HERPES, Virginal Infection Cure etc.. DR is also available to help!






    I’ve been Feeling weak and always feeling sleepy for some time which I went for a test and I was told i am diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis Disease (ALS DISEASE) ever since then I've followed a wide variety of medical treatments, I have even combined with different pills and antibiotics without clear results. My health was deteriorating more and more. But thanks to a Herbal Doctor's herbs method that I found on the internet which has saved so many lives and also helped me to achieve the results i wanted, i knew from the beginning that this could help me after much learning and the cure Dr sent to me and which I began to follow the method from the Herbal Doctor called (Dr Aziba) and the results were wonderful: I recommend you to get in contact with him via Email: priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com and on WhatsApp: +2348100368288 for ALS, HPV, HSV, HERPES, Virginal Infection Cure etc.. DR is also available to help!





    I’ve been Feeling weak and always feeling sleepy for some time which I went for a test and I was told i am diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis Disease (ALS DISEASE) ever since then I've followed a wide variety of medical treatments, I have even combined with different pills and antibiotics without clear results. My health was deteriorating more and more. But thanks to a Herbal Doctor's herbs method that I found on the internet which has saved so many lives and also helped me to achieve the results i wanted, i knew from the beginning that this could help me after much learning and the cure Dr sent to me and which I began to follow the method from the Herbal Doctor called (Dr Aziba) and the results were wonderful: I recommend you to get in contact with him via Email: priestazibasolutioncenter@gmail.com and on WhatsApp: +2348100368288 for ALS, HPV, HSV, HERPES, Virginal Infection Cure etc.. DR is also available to help!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I’m indeed very happy for the great help that Dr. Oyagu rendered to me, I am here to give my testimony about a doctor who helped me in my life. I and my wife was infected with HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS last 2 years ago, we went to many hospitals for cure but there was no solution, on till one faithful day , we saw a blog whereby Dr. Oyagu cured a woman who also had herpes affection, we (Me and My wife) decided to contact him which we did, he asked us to buy some items, unfailingly we sent him the money he will need in buying the items required , He get all the items needed for the herbs. He asked me to go for check-up after 2 weeks , Luckily for me we were tested herpes negative, now I believe all these Testimonies about him on the internet, he is truly a great man, if you are going through the same problem and you need help you can contact the great Herbalist oyaguherbalhome@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +2348101755322 more info on this visit his website https://oyaguspellcaster.wixsite.com/oyaguherbalhome.thank you all

    ReplyDelete
  32. I want to share this wonderful testimony to the Good people all over the world on how I was able to Enlarge my Penis by Dr. zubby. I was living a shameful life from my young age, just last month as I was browsing on the internet about Penis size and Enlargement Products, I saw a testimony of a Man called George , testifying of how he was able to get his penis Enlarged by Dr. zubby and I decided to also Email Dr.zubby for my small penis size and he quickly respond to me and gave me the normal instructions which i did and then he shipped the product to me here in the united state which i received in just 3 working days and today i am very happy because i started seeing positive changes in my penis size in just 7 days of use. Dr zubby herbal product is the best recommended for you and to whom ever suffering from this shame or having any other diseases as well should Contact this great herbal doctor via his Email : 
    dr.zubbysolutionhome@gmail.com and WhatsApp Him on   +2348070673249

    Visit DR ZUBBY website https://drzubbyherbalcure.weebly.com/
    https://www.facebook.com/Dr-zubby-solution-home-109215250467833/

    https://www.facebook.com/dr_zubby4-112219596832094/

    ReplyDelete
  33. Omg I Finally Got Helped  !! I'm so excited right now, I just have to share my testimony on this Forum.. The feeling of being loved takes away so much burden from our shoulders. I had all this but I made a big mistake when I cheated on my wife with another woman  and my wife left me for over 4 months after she found out..  I was lonely, sad and devastated. Luckily I was directed to a very powerful spell caster Dr Emu who helped me cast a spell of reconciliation on our Relationship and he brought back my wife and now she loves me far more than ever.. I'm so happy with life now. Thank you so much Dr Emu, kindly Contact  Dr Emu Today and get any kind of help you want.. Via Email emutemple@gmail.com or Call/WhatsApp +2347012841542

    ReplyDelete
  34. Herbal Penis Enlargement product is 100% guarantee to Enlarge and get a better ERECTION ,
    the reason why most people are finding it difficult
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    Thank you.    

    ReplyDelete

Dining Time For The Cat And The Dog.

 Keen eyed viewers will have noticed this picture on Tuesdays post. It's a photo we took last year or so and it's been put on a tile...