People who have been reading this scribble for the last ten years might know some of my allotment characters that I have met and even created with my literary vivid imagination and stupidity?
Harry "Napalm" lived or resided in an allotment a few veg plots up from me. I also christened him " Harry Weedkiller". He would arrive at his allotment in the merry month of April? Months after I had toiled and slaved and "bastard" trenched and "double dug" my French potager in Northwest England.
Harry would get out his knapsack sprayer fill it with water and mix packets of weedkiller and spray the contents on any thing flora and green that resided in his allotment jungle.
Harry was well into his sixties and he would spend the next week or so sitting on his deckchair in the midst of his wilting jungle and supping cans of cheap lager.
When everything was completely dead looking . Harry would crack up his leviathan of a Howard rotovator and turn his Brown frazzled vegetables and weeds into brownish looking soil/wilderness.
He would then apply agricultural rates of chemical fertilizers like a spinning Dervish and proceed to sow vegetables and plant his spudatoes.
The rest of his summer would be spent supping cans of "el crappo" lager and sitting on his deckchair, Whilst I sweated and toiled and weeded and swore like a trooper. I think it's called vegetables cultivation?
Result: Harry "Napalm's" vegetables were massive, "dead big" and enormous and probably tasted crap!