I walked into Northsider Towers kitchen the other day and wifey was busy cleaning the windows in the Conservatory. It's not full of Conservatives I may add thankfully. But the condensation and dust leaves stains everywhere.
So I picked up a damp cloth and helped her by standing on the stepladders, chairs and freezer where wifey couldn't reach. I even suggested moving the small chest freezer when she said she couldn't reach the other corner. I was of course joking.
We moved all manner of detritus like hand tools and made a thoroughly neat job even if I say so myself. It looked like a lived in Conservatory once again.
Some famous English northern comedienne once said that Conservatorys are places where your neighbours can see you eating your tea in.
I suggested that we could have our Christmas dinner in the revamped Conservatory?
She replied:
"We did that last year".
Oh dear!
It reminds me of a Irish day time show presenter once saying she was out shopping and she rang her husband to turn the oven on to cook the food she had prepared inside the oven. He asked her what the gas mark temperature was ? She said: " It's an electric cooker!"
They had only bought the stove five years!
Reminds me of teachers written comments on my old school reports: "David is easily led. Must pay attention!"
Did it say that on your school report?
No. They never said that. In English, History, Art and Geography they tended to write "Neil is a ****ing genius!" In Physics, Chemistry and Maths they wrote "Neil is a ****ing dunce!" I just wasn't interested in that bollix!
ReplyDeleteDid you have Irish teachers with expressions like that? The Irish taught the world to swear according to the great author Pete McCarthy. I never understood why they made us put wallpaper on our exercise books. Very strange.
ReplyDeleteI preferred thick brown wrapping paper but back then nobody asked why. By the time I became a teacher that fashion was more or less done with. Pete McCarthy was wrong about swearing. It originated in Leeds. If you had to live in Leeds you'd be swearing soon after leaving the womb.
DeletePerhaps the first people to settle in Leeds originated in Ireland? We had some pretty psychedelic wallpaper patterns. Then my parents became sophisticated and I decorated my exercise books with woodchip and anaglypta wall paper.
ReplyDeleteBlown vinyl proved to the wood chip lads that you were a class above them. I wonder what kind of wallpaper the then Prince Charles used to back his books. It is said that Prince Andrew used old porn magazines from under his mattress.
DeleteYou and YP excelled in the comments section once again. Top marks. Now I'm waiting to read JCs repartee.
ReplyDeleteIn the colonies we also covered our exercise books with wallpaper.
I would imagine Mayfair and Penthouse would be the ones delivered to Buck House.
ReplyDeleteThanks Linda. It's only a bit of fun. Wasn't it strange to make us cover our exercise books with wallpaper?
ReplyDeleteI guess if you were the teacher marking 30 versions of 'what i did in the weekend' the wallpaper variations were light relief.
ReplyDeleteMy school exercise books were of course covered with pages carefully cut from old Country Life or Vogue magazines. The glossy finish helped to protect the books from the ponies' drool when I did my home work in the stables.
ReplyDeleteTrue. Maybe they wanted ideas to what they would they would decorate their front room or lounge if you were posh unlike me?😊
ReplyDeleteAre you called Jilly Cooper really JayCee and moved to the IOM for tax purposes?
ReplyDeleteWe wrapped our books in brown heavy paper from cut up grocery bags. This was something that was done with extreme care, and we decorated the book covers with our own art work. I blame my humble life on the fact that we were not permitted to be posh as children. We could only use the brown paper shopping bags.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of decorating your books with your own art work Debby. You have made up for your humble life Debby with your properties and family.
ReplyDeleteIt was meant to tease Jaycee. She is posh because of her book decorating. My enforced brown paper bag upbringing has left a mark.😔
DeleteJayCee is very posh Debby. They have a yacht and thry eat those posh biscuits which are unpronounceable and mentioned on her blog this very day. We still managed to write Manchester United and Motorhead on our wallpaper covered exercise books.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. We were so posh our council house had silverfish!
DeleteHah! I had goldfish!😂
DeleteIt was that cold where we lived. Even the rats wore fur coats. 😊
ReplyDeleteI'd love a conservatory, one with a drain in the floor so I could fill it with greenery and the drain would take care of the run off when I watered.
ReplyDeleteOur Conservatory was second hand when we bought it River. The drain in the floor is a good idea.
ReplyDelete