Tuesday, 17 April 2018

Escape From The Missus And Hide In My Allotment Shed Creature.

Here is another allotment creature for your perusal.  This fellow is entirely fictional but I am sure we have all met people like him.  

Mr Escape From The Missus And Hide In My Allotment Shed Creature.  His only sanctuary is his allotment castle/trusty cedar garden shed.  

It is the home of many miscellaneous items with a myriad of different uses including: one cobblers last, one empty can of WD40 lubricant spray, rusty hedge clippers, gas mask (peeling onions and extreme episodes of uncontrollable flatulence), adult magazine "big girls" weekly tucked into the outside dog eared cover of an old Amateur Gardening magazine, a mouldy bar of Caramac chocolate, one spade, a family of field mice nesting in an old copper kettle, one brown bag of lawn seed (field mice/field mouses dinner?), soil sieve, bicycle clips, grass box for a Suffolk Punch lawn mower (long deceased), ex supermarket shopping trolley (drying onions and for collecting free newspapers dumped in local canal), cobwebs, discarded beer cans, a deck chair a 1967 'Ready Steady Go' calendar.  

Do you recognise this allotment shed? 

14 comments:

  1. I think he must be the most common allotment creature of all and his shed.

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  2. Good to hear and thanks LA. I get lots of views but not a lot of comments. It's the characters that makes the world go round.

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  3. Hi Rachel. Yes there are plenty of them about. It's Mr and Mrs Right On Baby next. Does Vladimir and Natalya tend an allotment in Moscow?

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  4. I was addicted to Caramac chocolate, bicycle clips and girlie magazines but not the other things, so it's not me!

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  5. Are sure Gwil? I heard of another allotment holder who collected Hoover bags and Fry's Turkish delight.

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    1. I don't know about Hoover bags but I collected empty cigarette packets picked up in the street often outside betting shops or pubs and stuck them in my scrap books. I was fascinated by the designs and their names. You could buy packets of 5 cigarettes in those days, and the corner shop would even sell a person a single cigarette if that's all one could afford. I'll never forget the morning I found a Passing Clouds packet in mint condition lying in the street. I thought some posh person must have thrown it away. It felt like finding treasure.

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    2. I use to collect matchboxes Gwil. We also use to buy "seppys" cigarettes. Passing Clouds packets are for sale on eBay. We use to fix a cigarette packets to the spokes of our bikes to make a flapping sound. Happy days!

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  7. A guy who lives opposite me has a garage that's much the same. It is so full of tins and packets and whatnot's he has to leave the car outside.

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  8. Garage Man. That's another character we could write about Valerie. I know of a lot of houses that have garages and they can't park their cars in them. Ourselves included. Thanks!

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