We went tidying the two family graves this morning and we placed two Aldi bought planters filled with winter flowering plants on them. They are a change from the traditional wreaths.
It does not do me much good mentally and leaves me profoundly sad. But it's good to visit my mum and dad's graves at Christmas. It's good to still visit them even though they are gone from the land of the living.
Then we took our Christmas presents to my brothers house and talked for an hour and a half. I bet we don't see anybody else until after the Christmas holiday?
Well that's wrong. Two friends have visited this afternoon and dropped off some prezzies. I think one is a nice bottle of wine to go with our lump of Dexter beef and our homegrown organic vegetables and some bought organic potatoes.
I wish it was Christmas Day tomorrow.
My brother rang me this morning and thought it was Christmas Day tomorrow. I think I had my Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve last year. I am not sure what I will do this year. I went to see a neighbour this afternoon after I got home and sat with her for a while. Her husband was outside digging drains out. She was arranging flowers she had found in the garden for decorations on the Christmas table. I think of my parents all the time and often speak to mum when I am wanting help and then feel very sad about it although I continue to talk to her. I believe that you cannot leave everything in the past and the past doesn't just disappear. Thanks for a lovely post Dave.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely comment Rachel. I some times dream that I am talking to my parents and think of all the things I want to tell them about and show them. Then I wake up and realise they are no longer in the land of the living. Life is so short and Christmas is a time for peace and goodwill. Thanks Rachel.
ReplyDeleteTraditionally we tidy graves and light the little candle wicks floating olive oil on Good Friday, All Souls Saturday and Christmas. My s in law usually goes and does the job. I go and light a candle in one of the little churches on my parents anniversaries. They weren't believers and neither am I but I feel better and don't want to forget
ReplyDeleteIn Poland they visit graves on November the 1st Linda. I get more agnostic every year. I would like to think we will see our loved ones again one day. I hope so. It's really nice that you light a candle on your parents anniversaries. Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas on Poros.
ReplyDeleteI never visit graves - I’m not sure there are any in our family at least in recent times. I’m not sure that’s a good thing for graves I suppose can give a sense of connection and place. Mark from Bikeshed
ReplyDeleteHi Mark. I have visited several famous literary and music graves in recent years. I also think it's good to have somewhere to visit and connect like you say. It definitely makes you realise that what we think is important is not important at all. We live on borrowed time. That's a Diamond head song title. Have a great Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI imagined that your parents might have died back in Lancashire. It's surprising to learn that they are both buried in County Cork. Were they both of Irish descent? It is good that you honour them at this time of year.
ReplyDeleteThey moved over here in 2007 and died in 2012 YP. My dad left Ireland when he was only 17 during the black fifties. I have lived in Ireland longer than my dad did. Thanks for asking.
ReplyDeleteI knew your father was Irish but I thought you mother was what Gracie Fields called, "a lassie from Lancashire".
DeleteShe was.
ReplyDeleteHow sad that both of your parents died in the same year.
DeleteIt was YP. My mum died at the beginning of the year and my dad died at the end of the year. So we have their anniversaries after Christmas. I guess my dad died of a broken heart. He certainly went downhill fast after my mums passing.
DeleteI have heard of that happening before. The last year of his life must have been filled with sorrow and confusion. Anyway - we are into Christmas Eve now. Best wishes to you, to Jean, to your two sons and to your animal friends. Cheers!
DeleteGoing into old age looks quite daunting YP. I hope I go before my better half does. It's been well worth writing this post and for the excellent comments. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas and new year 👍.
DeleteMy mum passed 19 years ago, but 14 years ago she got me through loads of operations, chemo and radiotherapy, she was the one I spoke to when I could not voice things to hubby and daughter, she is always with me.
ReplyDeleteHow brave and kind of your mother Marlene. My parents never spoke to us about their terminal conditions. It was the old way. You didn't speak and kept it all to yourself. It certainly didn't help us. At least they have their perfect peace now. Merry Christmas to you and to yours.
ReplyDeleteI think that as I get older, there's more of a realization that death comes for us all. My parents have both gone on ahead. My turn will happen as well. It doesn't make me sad, really. It's just how it is. How it has always been.
ReplyDeleteMemories can warm you as well as any wood fire, can't they?
I love your last line especially Debby. At least not like the Greek Cyclops who know when they will die from the day they are born. We have made our wills and the two lads will be left an house a piece and like you say Debby. That is how it is. Great comment. Thank you.
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